Ghajini

Some movies are so bad, you don't want to watch them again.

Some movies are so good, you want to keep watching them over and over again.

There's a hitherto unknown category: Movie that is so good that you don't want to watch again.

Ghajini goes into this new category: a movie that I loved, but one that I am not going to watch again, atleast not for some time, lest it adversely impacts my feelings for the movie(even if you finance my ticket :) ) Aamir raises the bar again and proves no matter who you call a superstar, Aamir is 'the' real 'actor'.

Watch it for the performance and the direction. Some scenes are so amazing, you are going to remember them for a long time: Asin dying, Aamir losing memory as he fights the baddies during the climax scene, and more.

Awesome movie. Awesome Aamir. Period.

Me Mumbaikar. Really?

It's ironic,believe me : the titles of my previous blog and this one.

I wasn't all that serious about the hue and cry around the North Indian migrants created by Raj Thackaray and his gang. But the recent police shootout wherein Rahul Raj was shot, and subsequently the train incident wherein a worker from UP was beaten to death in a local train had me thinking. Am I an outsider here? Am I going to remain an outsider forever ? Had these incidents occured at a different time, I wouldn't have cared much about them, but at this time I do because somewhere, they all seem to be related.

What bothers me the most is that so far I haven't seen any prominent(or even not so prominent) Marathis come out in support of North Indians. I don't know if it's fear or an agreement with Raj Thackeray's view, but somewhere it makes me uncomfortable.

I was traveling in a BEST bus this Friday, and it was a short ride of about 20 mins. The seat i had was the one just behind the driver in a double decker bus(wherein you enter and exit from the rear side of bus). So practically, i was at the farthest end of the bus, and all people around me seemed to be Marathis talking in Marathi. A sudden fear ran through me, something that I had never felt in the 5 years i have been in Mumbai. What if these guys start bashing me up for being a North Indian ? What if I am beaten to death in this Bus ? Probably the fear wasn't justified, but I did feel it, and I was relieved when I alighted from the Bus.

I am not sure till when this tirade will continue. I am not even sure what really is the issue. One fine day, Raj says no Chatt Puja in Mumbai, and then later on says that he is not against Puja but only against 'politicising' of Chatt Puja. One day he wants all the North Indians out because they are eating up local jobs, another day he claims its an issue of Marathi Asmita and that Marathi language and culture should be respected by everyone who comes here.

Being an election year, the politicians tend to find something or the other to hype up their campaigns. But is this only that ? Or is this more ? Well I am not sure. Till then, I am going to avoid buses and trains as much as I can and trust my bike. After all, I am a bhaiyya.

Mumbai Meri Jaan!

I have come to realise that I am in love with Mumbai.

Well, believe me : its a big confession considering that a few years back I didn't miss a chance to tear apart everything this city had to offer. 4 years back, I would have asked : Why are the people always in a hurry ? Why is no one having time for himself? Why are roads always jammed ? Why does it rain so much ? Why is the drainage system so bad ? Why are the houses so expensive ? Why is the rent so high? Why wouldn't anyone give home on rent to bachelors ? Why do I need to pay this silly octroi if I but a commodity in Mumbai ? Will the JVLR ever get completed? and many more.

So why this change of heart ? While some of these questions are still relevant for me(think Octroi/Drainage/tragic life of bachelors), these things don't really matter. No I am not trying to sound idealistic, but if I look closer, this is probably the city I would have always wanted to me in ! No one bothers what you are doing, you can feel free to go on a drive even after midnight,girls from everywhere vouch that this is the safest city for them, you can sit by the beach and see the sun setting(and rising too), you can eat pan and gola at chaupatti, you can feel the adrenaline rush in your body when you decide to board Virar fast(i love that train!), you can feel the dedication of the people who travel hours everyday so that they can earn a bread for their family, you can see people from different fields/cultures/religions come together and form travellers group in local trains, you can feel the rain and just cheer on the thought of the respite you are getting from the heat and humidity;well you can be youself. This city is indeed a place where dreams turn true if you have the courage to dream.

I wasn't born in Mumbai. My job brought me here in 2003. I was in Mumbai for 2.5 years before I went abroad for a couple of years. In those 2 years abroad, I missed mumbai madly. And now that I am back, I am enjoying every moment I am here. There are so many things about this city that can not be said but just felt.

So Mr. Raj Thackaray, I am here to stay because Mumbai is not what it is just because of you : Mumbai is what it is because I am here as well. So get over the politics and take a sip of cutting chai on Marine Drive and feel the wind :)

I love these songs

I don't like songs: I like specific lines in them. So if there's a song that you find me go crazy over, there has to be atleast one line in that song that I have fallen in love with, which is why I love that song. I wouldn't mind waiting 3-5mins for the rest of song to play on and that single line to blare out from the speakers. The wait if always worth it. For instance, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" is a song that I pretty much love end to end but one line that's worth the song is "my shadow's the only one that walks beside me", Home by Daughtry has the line "back to the place that I belong", and the most recent in the list is "Kabhi Kabhi Aditi" from the movie "Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na". And the line? "Woh Jo Bicharde hain ek na ek din phir mil jaate hain." Somewhere, these lines touch me deep and I fall in love with them.

the list is endless. Silly me, I know.

Rosebud

Rosebud. If you look at any of the "All Time Bests" or similar listings of Hollywood movies, you will find "Citizen Kane" somewhere at the top. And if you see the movie, you will know the significance of the word "Rosebud."

The movie starts with the death of the lead protagonist(who is a millionaire and a media mughul) and the last word he utters is "Rosebud." The movie is then a biography of the lead character seen through the eyes of a journalist who is out to figure out the significance of the last word of the dying man.

He never figures that out but the viewers in the movie do figure it out in the last scene. If you haven't seen the movie, I wouldn't break the suspense. But "Rosebud" was something that Kane associated with the best moments of his life when there were no worries, and he was truly happy. Take my word: its a movie that you don't want to miss. Throughout his life he went after money and power, but he never got the satisfaction that he had when he had "Rosebud." Probably, that was the reason why when he was dying, he remembered the best moments of his life and longed to be with his "Rosebud" again.

Do you have a "Rosebud" in your life, something or someone who you would want to be with? Someone or something that gave you the happiness and satisfaction that you still yearn for? Someone or something you will not hesitate to give up everything you have for ?

Think over it and try to find your "Rosebud" :)

The future is Golden

Abhinav Bindra won the first individual gold medal for India. That's an old news now. India's hopes for another medal from this olympics are almost crushed. That's also old news

now. what I found the most interesting part of India's olympic campaign was an honest comment from Abhinav : "We need professionals, not politicians" to manage sports in India.

So very true !

We Indians as a nation, and in almost all cases as an individual as well, have been crazy about Cricket. Almost every kid who ever played a field sport in india is likely to have played cricket for sure. Cricket is a religion, cricket is God. It's a different story that India hasn't been that successful as a team. In terms of achievements in cricket, what do we have to show? A world cup that we won some 25 years back ? A few more trophys here and there? But we Indians still spend hours and days following every game that india plays, even if we know that we are going to lose. We are passionate about Cricket. But why can't we have the same passion for other sports?

Don't get me wrong here. It's not that people in India are not interested in playing other sports.Abhinav Bindra, Rajyavardhan Rathode, Baichung Bhutia, PT Usha, leander Paes, Sania Mirza and many more have proved that if we try, we can make a mark in other sports too. I don't think we are lacking an interest on the part of public, although the interest is not as widespread and as deep as cricket.

In my opinion, the problem lies elsewhere.

a. The first major problem is that the Government has not been forthcoming in showing the same kind of support and dedication for the upliftment of sports in india in general as is the case with cricket. This is where we come to the point that Abhinav made: "We need professionals, not politicians" to run the show. Only then we will be making the right investment at the right place. Taking Australia as an example(although Europe/America also have similar models), Australia has a professional body called Australian Sports Commission(earlier on Australian Institute of Sport) that was setup after a (not so compared to India) dismal performance of Australia in 1976 olympics. ASC gives out about 700 scholarships every year to talented sportsperson to make it big in the field of their choice. As it appears, it has its own professional management board that just specializes in running ASC. Let's try to learn some best practices from them. What we really need is to setup a proper professional body to manage the growth and development of all sports in India. SAI and IOA already exist. If you want to use them, make them fully professional and accountable for every penny and every activity. Bring in people who know sports rather than politicians.

b. Where's the money ? The budget for Youth Affairs and Sports together is about INR 8900 millions. INR 4900 m of this is for Sports. Compare that to Australia's $264 m (INR 962o m @Rs.37 per AUS $). Obviously, we need to spend a lot more than australia at this time because we don't have the facilities that Australia has already built over the years, yet it is having a huge budget compared to India. Given that we will need to have a far more deeper peneration to get the best from the most remote parts of the country, more money is needed. Obviously, in a country where every penny counts(atleast on paper), getting more money for Sports is going to be a challenge. That's something that finance minister will have to look into. An interesting comparison is IPL that generated a revenue of about INR 12000 m during its 1st year of operations and profits to the tune of about INR 3500 m. How about pulling some money from the BCCI coffers and using elsewhere?

c. Who in India want's to see the olympic sports? That is going to be a concern. But the way I look at it, one Gold win by Abhinav took the nation by storm. Everyone talked about it, everyone still talks about it. My "hardcore cricket fan" friends also praised his efforts and were genuinely excited about the achievement. I feel people relate to cricket because that's probably one sport where we still manage to win some. If we start winning elsewhere, people will take notice for sure and come out in support. And to make that happen, we will need to build world class infrastructure and training facilities to produce best atletes who will eventually go on to win medals and change the mindset of the indian public.

Abhinav's win in remarkable not only because its a first. It takes more significance because it's something that has started a national debate on the future of Olympics Sports in India. Hopefully people in power are listening attentively and will take steps to take India right onto the middle spot of the podium.

The future is Bright, the future is Golden :)

The Dark Knight

The hype is not unjustified. Its worth it.

So I finally got to see The Dark Knight today. A truly magnificent movie. Heath Ledger by far at his best in the chilling performance as Joker. I won't be surprised if he picks an Oscar for this last performance of his. He deserves it. After such an amazing performance, he sure will be missed in the future.

Like the first part, the ends pretty much met. The screenplay and action was absolutely on track, sometimes even better than the first part. Excellent performance from everyone.

The best thing about the new Batman series is that it portrays the protagonist as a human with human strength and human weaknesses. So if a dog bites the batman, batman still bleeds and needs stitches; if he is hit too hard, he can fall too. I prefer calling him a Hero(and not really a superhero) , and that probably brings the Batman series closer to each one of us and such a hit. Great going actors, director, and everyone involved with the making of the movie.

If you still haven't seen it, go see it.

Books or eBooks

I was at the Crossword Book Store yesterday to buy a book that a friend of mine had recommended. Diya was there with me. While looking over some books I casually mentioned about ebooks, and a bunch of sites that operate these days through which you can share the ebooks you own. Diya's counterargument was that with eBooks, you don't get the smell of the books and she cannot read a book without that smell. My (silly) suggestion was that while she read some book, she should keep some hard copy book with her and keep smelling it everytime she felt the need. The argument ended with a laughter.

But later it had me thinking. She did have a point. How many ebooks have I ever read although quite a few would have come across my way at some point or another ? None. And how many paper books had I read ? Every book that I ever read was a paperbook. The fact that I was at Crossword buying a paperback version of a book that I already knew I can arrange an ecopy for speaks that somewhere within me, I don't like ebooks too! Like Diya, I am also a paperbook reader. It's just that I never saw it in black and white.

On deeper thinking, I realised : I am a very irregular reader. Sometimes I feel like reading when I get up, sometimes when I am going to bed, and sometimes when I am not feeling sleepy at all. Hell, there have been situations when I was reading some or the other novel when I was not having any work to do in office ! (OK I shouldn't have done that, but I did). And everytime, its a paper book that I am reading. Carrying around a laptop or a ebook reader like Amazon's kindle can never be as convenient as carrying a real book. I also think that carrying a real book somehow takes you closer to the story.An ebook reader will always be an electronic device, probably another one from Arnie's Terminator gang :p

And if nothing else tilts the balance in favor of paperbooks, there's always the smell of the book that you get when you are reading it. Right Diya ?

Farewell !

A nice farewell quote...so true:

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends."

Friendship Day.

Today,3rd August 2008, is Friendship Day. I have received quite a few SMSes and emails since morning from friends wishing "Happy Friendship Day." I replied back to all such messages wishing the same. However, I didn't send out any messages to anyone on my own.

I don't like celebrating these "special days" that are more into existence because these cards and gifts companies(think Archies/Hallmark etc) want them to exist so that they can make more money. Come to think of it : I had never heard of Valentines Day until one fine day some 10-12 years back I saw an archies ad advertising Valentines Day in India. Since then, I have been hearing about it every year. The same is the case with Friendship Day, Fathers Day, Mothers Day etc etc.

Don't get me wrong: its good to let your loved ones know that you care about them. But do you really need a special day to let them know ? But special cards and gifts marked with the days significance and give to them ? Wouldn't they still know that you love them and care for them if you don't wish them ?

Its not your actions on that one day that matter: it's what you do throughout the year. Someone sent a mass mail today wishing everyone on his contact list a very happy friendship day. I started wondering when was the last time I had spoken to this guy or met him. Do I even have his contact number or details ? Will I even think of him when I am in trouble ? Most likely, No. Hell I probably wouldn't even remember his full name! So why should I wish him Friendship Day ?

In a nutshell, if you treasure someone's friendship , let him/her know often and not once a year. You didn't need a friendship day to have them as your friend. You don't need a friendship day to let them know what they mean to your life.

बदसूरत व पगली (Ugly aur Pagli)

मित्र जनों...आज हम "बदसूरत व पगली" देखने गये थे। इतना ही कहूँगा की कृपया आप २०० रुपये खर्च कर के यह चलचित्र देखने ना जाएं। मल्लिका को छोर इस कहानी में कुछ भी आकर्षक नही है। और उसका आकर्षण भी इतना कुछ ख़ास नहीं है। कहानी में कुछ संवाद काफी शक्तिशाली हैं परन्तु सम्पूर्णता के द्रिश्तिकोर्ण से यह कथा मुझे पसंद नहीं आई।

Sorry "Uncle" !!!

Ouch ! It hurt ! :(

So on Friday(1st August) afternoon, I was headed to office to meet MATC and have a talk about my next project and somewhere along the way, there was this kid in some school dress asking for lift. He may have been of 8-9 years. I pulled over and got him onto my bike as his destination was on my route. A few minutes later when he got off, he expressed his gratitude saying "Thank you Uncle" :((

That hurt. I stood there for a couple of minutes pondering over what just happened. Someone just called me uncle ! Am I already that old ? For God's sake, I am just 25(ok in another 10 days I'll be 26). Uncle sounds so old !!! It sounds like an entire generation has passed by ! I am from a previous generation ! :((

I looked back at my childhood and realised that the kid was a reflection of my childhood too. When I was of his age, I would call anyone who seemed even decently old enough "uncle." My thoughts wandered to thinking about what all those ETs(executive trainees who joined NTPC right after engg and would have been of my current age) would have felt when I addressed them as "uncle"s some 15 years back. Maybe that's why some of them preferred correcting me then and asked me to call them "bhaiya"(elder brother).

Life has its own way of teaching you :)

I take this opportunity to apologise to everyone and anyone who may have been hurt in someway or another as a result of my calling them "uncle" when I was a kid and not really understood their feelings. Sorry "Uncle" :)

When I woke up on Friday...

Friday: 1st August 2008. The first day after over 5 years of work life when I didn't know what I was going to work on. For the last 5 years, everyday I woke up, I knew I would be going to office and working on something for RTS and GE Healthcare. But on Friday, that wasn't the case. I wasn't going to talk to open outlook, I wasn't going to log onto Sametime, I wasn't going to log into one of those innumerous servers I had access to, and I wasn't going to do that one thing that would let me sleep peacefully thinking that the day was well spent :)

So now I am "on bench"(IT industry's term for being unassigned to anything). MATC(Manpower Allocation Task Committee) that oversees allocation of resources to projects in TCS, will try finding some opportunity that suits my needs and aspirations(yeah yeah...i have some). But I have mixed feelings about being on bench. While its exciting to be at a place(bench) that almost everyone I know has been on sometime or the other, and has had a somewhat good experience, at the same time its painful too because somewhere within me is a workoholic who hates not having something to do.

Guess I will have to find something to do that would again let me sleep peacefully thinking that the day was well spent :)

Aamir Vs. Sarkar Raj

Aamir Vs. Sarkar Raj
My Choice : Aamir.
So why Aamir ? For one, the title track of Aamir was a sweet and refreshing reflection of the life in Mumbai. But then that's just the beginning. Aamir is a well made movie with honest intentions of communicating a message rather than sensationalising a concept. At no point in the movie, you get a feel that the director is overdoing something. Yes, like all the movies a few things sound unconvincing. But when you look at the complete product, Aamir makes you think about today's realities while you walk out of the Theatre. Its a reflection of the divided society we live in today and the thin line all of us walk. It highlights how everyone of a particular community is looked up with suspicion. But at the same time it also highlights the division within the community itself wherein some like Aamir want to take the ownership for setting things right in their life by their own efforts, there are others who blame the society for the miseries of the community and want to avenge it on everyone. Aamir means 'a leader'. Aamir does come out as a leader: I hope more movies like Aamir see the light of day.
so what's wrong with Sarkar Raj ? For one, the first half has a terrible background score and just too many shaky camera shots that tend to make you feel like search for the forward button or the mute button. But then you can't find it. But that's not the end of it. The shots seem to be repeating over again and again. So we have someone speaking in the dark and then he comes to the forefront to show his face. Repeating the similar shot over different actors isn't a great direction. And then there are these closeups:just too many of them. Overall, the direction just reminded me of Sarkar(part-1). There wasn't anything new in the direction and the story wasn't any powerful. Well obviously, Ram Gopal Verma wasn't planning to make a thought provoking movie. If he took the entire Bachchan clan in, it was to make money. But I shelled out Rs. 200 and I don't think it was worth it. I should have waited for the DVD. I hope RGV doesn't go out now making a remake of Sarkar Raj.

Good Morning India!

This blog entry was written on 25th May 2008. The posting got delayed due to multiple reasons including my laziness.

Good Morning India !
So finally, I am back in India, and guess what ? One of my luggages has gone missing :( Lets rewind a bit. So I get onto the Air India flight in Chicago and when I get to my seat, I see someone else sitting there. It turns out that I was allocated seat 43A(next to window as per my pref) and the person who was occupying my seat was allocated seat 43C. I politely told the guy that its my seat but the elderly lady sitting on 43B(probably his mother) started explaining to me that the window seat is 'C' and the aisle seat it 'A'. She appeared to be ready for a confrontation and in my better judgement, I called on the Air Hostess to sort out the matter. I was right: 43A was the window seat, and I was in no mood of being the Danveer Karna I usually am ! For one, I had to travel a long distance and needed the wall to place my head against while sleeping, and secondly, in the last few days, atleast 3 ppl had given me the feedback to get rid of my ever so helpful attitude and start thinking about myself first. Frustrated, the lady went looking for another window seat(which I guess she didn't find) and eventually moved elsewhere to sit and her son took the aisle seat, and all was quiet after that.
Miraculously, the flight took off right on time, and landed on time at Heathrow. On the Heathrow-Mumbai sector, a girl took the aisle seat. She worked with a major Indian IT firm as a QA analyst and was in London for past 3 months. Both of us being in the IT field, we found quite a few things to talk about. Overall, the 2nd sector was much etter than the first one.
If one miracle wasn't enough, the flight took off from Heathrow about 30 mins late and landed 10 mins before time in Mumbai. I was beginning to wonder if the people back in Chicago/Milwaukee were making sure that there shouldn't be any reason for stay longer than necessary at any place except Mumbai :p
But all good things come to an end. My trouble started on the conveyer belt when after waiting for about 90 minutes, I discovered that one of my luggages didn't show up.This suitcase was the more important one because apart from a bunch of valuable stuff and clothes, it also carries the tradition RTS send-off calendar. The calendar means a lot ! Anyways, I headed off to file a missing baggage report but the way things move for Air India, it took another 90 minutes(!!!) to report the lost baggage. Yeah, that's something I immediately drew a contract with how things worked in US. Hopefully, someday soon, things will be a lot more faster in India. Finally by about 4:30 AM IST, I was able to get out of airport and reached home by about 5 am.
The first thoughts after getting out of the airport was : its hot and humid ! For the last 2 years, I had lived pretty much in a controlled climate environment. Whether it be home or car or office or anywhere else, anytime I was indoors, it was all controlled through some or the other equipment. That wasn't the case in India. But I am not complaining;I have lived in this climate for 23 years: 2 years away from here isn't going to change me !
It's almost 5:30 am and the sun rays are appearing over the horizon. Good Morning India !

Goodbye Milwaukee

This blog entry was written on 23rd May 2008 at Chicago O'hare Airport while I awaited the departure of my flight.

Looking Back...
2 years 1 month 22 days...Thats the total duration of time I was in Milwaukee. That's a long time, and finally I return back home today. Am I excited ? YOu bet I am. Am I satisfied ? I don't think so.But then, its human nature:we never feel satisfied. For one, on professional front, I feel I haven't really done much over the past 2 years to 'polish' myself up. I guess, I still am pretty much at the same level where I was 2 years back. Personal life hasn't been any better. If anything, its messed up all the more.
So as I return back to India today, I seek a new beginning, something that's different, something that's real me, something that everyone expects of me, something that Sheetendu would have done in a normal world 2 years back. Well, actually 5 years back when I was every bit of the level headed 'practical' guy. I seek to find myself again.
What comes to my mind is one of my favorite quotes : Today is the first day of rest of my life. Or is it too early to say that?

Its Farewell time!

My First Farewell
Its official now. I will be leaving for India this coming friday(23rd May). The news had been official for sometime, but I had been kind of holding it back from most people. The reason ? I didn't want any farewells ! Sounds silly but if you were me, you would have known why. For one, I already am missing this place. I have had a real great time here during the last 2 years, and to think that I will be leaving this place is already painful.To make matter worse, a bunch of people who hold significance in your life, get together to bid you farewell, which actually makes things worse for you because you then realise all the more what you are going to miss.

But then, things don't always work the way you want them to. The news leaked last friday morning and within next 2 hours, I got my first farewell lunch ! It was from the group that I had pretty much had lunch with over the past 2 years and it was only very logical for us to go out for lunch again ! Sanjay, Hemlata, Mohan and Aruna were there. I did miss I did miss a few faces who were the prominent ones on our usual lunch table but weren't there that day as they were either no longer in Milwaukee or were held up with more compelling things. It eventually turned out to be a party from Sanjay as he paid the entire bill. We took it as Sanjay's bday celebrations :)

My lunch group is something I am going to miss real bad. It was always fun on the lunch table. We talked about everything from company policies to movies to fashion to personal life, and a lot of gossiping too. And when there wasn't anything to talk about, we used to bet 100$ on stupid things ! Oh yeah...whether the exit on I-894 was named EXIT 9 or EXIT 9AB was worth 100 bucks :) Memories...
Guys...I will miss you and hope once in a while I will figure in your discussions on the lunch table too !

My Second Farewell
This probably was going to be the only farewell I was going to get until the secret got out. This was at Naina's place. Her mom and bro are visiting her from India and Naina took this as an opportunity for us to meet her family and at the same time bid goodbye to me. But luckily, there wasn't anything that made me feel that it's a farewell. It was more of a get-together with lovely food cooked by Naina's mom. I really had a good time with everyone who was there and each one of us had some stories or other to share. We didn't realise how late it was until the clock hit midnight. Mohan made a brief guest appearance and blessed us with his holy presence. A few people who matter a lot didn't make it to the occasion and I missed them. But then that's how life is. The best part of the evening was that this time there weren't any rounds of TABOO, the game that I dread. Why ? Well thats another story for another day. Its time for me to get some sleep.

BTW, there's another formal farewell scheduled for Wednesday. This time, its from everyone from my project at my workplace.

Atonement

Atonement :(noun): Amends or reparation made for an injury or wrong; expiation.[taken from Dictionary.com]

I recently saw the movie Atonement and I liked it very much. Set around the time of 2nd World War, the story revolves around a 13 year old budding writer Briony who misinterprets her sister's(Cecilia) relationship with Cecilia's lover Robbie, and wrongly(but deliberately) accuses him of something he didn't do that lands him in jail;and her one lie changes the lives of the three forever. Cecilia becomes a nurse, Robbie joins army during the war as thats the only option given to him to get out of jail and Briony,buried in her guilt,eventually follows in her sister's footsteps becoming a nurse too, doing her share of penance. Tragically, Robbie and the Cecilia die,far away from each other, and Briony lives rest of her life with the guilt of what she did, forever looking for her atonement.

I thought it was a powerful story and was well presented. It did move me, significantly,and it had me thinking.

Have you ever done something so terrible that fills you up with grief, remorse, regret everytime you think of what you did, or even worse, everytime you open your eyes? Something so terrible that you wish that one day you get up and you just forget that it ever happened? Have you ?

I have.

Cycling

Over the past few weeks, I have been doing a bit of cycling. Now, I would have called it a lot of cycling had I been more regular. But given the fact that on an average I have been getting on that cycle once every 2-3 days, it sounds more of an agent of killing time rather than the urge of having a healthier life.

A bit of history : I managed to grab a friend's bike after he left this place but wasn't able to manage taking the bike with him. That was an year back. And for one year, the bike stayed in my old apartment's storage tied to another bike through a number lock whose combination everyone had forgotten :) Finally when I had to vacate the apartment a month back, I got a big pair of pliers from Home Depot and released the cycles from the evil clutches. Mohan(a friend of mine) took one bike, I took the other !

A bit about the bike : Well the bike is a basic montain bike from Next called Mountain Ridge and has an all aluminium body and double suspension. It has 21 speeds and rides pretty well. It is a moderately heavy bike that becomes extremely heavy on steep slopes.

So why do I cycle ? Because I just feel like. I don't have any huge expectations(losing weight/saving money etc), but I just enjoy cycling. When I started cycling again a few weeks back, I got on a bicycle after about 5 years! And after the very first spin of wheel, I regretted having away from it for so long :) Its fun to feel the air on your face and to actually endure the pain of taking yourself from one place to another, something I have really been completely out of touch in US because I drive a car all the time here. Its nice to be able to stop anywhere and look around and think for a few minutes before you move ahead. Believe it or not, but when you cycle, a lot of vehicles moving out there look at you with respect(and sometimes with anger too 'coz you tend to slow the traffic)!

Well there are whole lot of other advantages to cycling that you can google over the net. But for me, cycling is fun, and I believe its now going to be an integral part of rest of my life.

So am I going to see you cycle too anytime soon ?

Sony Xperia X1

If you are someone who keeps track of the what's going on in the Electronics world, you sure would have heard of Sony's new Smartphone Xperia X1. But isn't that an old news ? Well, Yes and No. Sony announced the phone way back in Feb. But its back in news now due to some leaks on the net that put the release date somewhere in Sep 2008. Details of the smartphone fewtures can be found here . You got to check it out. It sure is a cool one, specially that arc keyboard. You may also want to checkout the X1 film on the X1 site I linked to above that will give you an idea of the relative size of the phone.

I am more of a business user who has been using a Treo 650 for a while now and I find it exciting and easy to use. Based on my needs, my perception of an ideal phone for me is one that lets me talk a lot, lets me get onto the internet when I feel like, has wi-fi so that when I am in a hotspot, I can use the high speeds, provides support for music and videos, has a decent camera, and has a touchscreen for sure. In all, I want a smartphone that makes me feel smart for owning it.

Personally, this phone has excited me more than iPhone did. Why ? For one, when iPhone hit the market, like many curious people, I went over to the Apple store to check it out. And I sure liked it. But the biggest drawback that I found with the phone was an absence of keyboard. While music and wireless access is fine, when it comes to typing on that touchscreen, I thought it was a pain to be write long messages. My index finger was twice the size of the keys on the screen and I made a lot of mistakes typing. For the 15 mins or so that I experimented with iPhone, I kept wondering if I will ever be able to type with both my hands on iPhone, and everytime, I found myself answering a NO. While everything about iPhone is a breakthrough and I respect the Apple guys for the mega technological innovation, I had to keep down the display unit and head back home :) I still am an old school guy who prefers those 26 alphabets on different keys because, lets face it, I am a normal person who needs a phone for normal day to day activities that includes talking, making notes, mailing, and well, maybe music too ! I don't see myself using applications that will somehow be restricted due to those keys physically being there.

So when Sony announced X1, I thought they heard me ! Here you have a phone that does everything I want it to, has a touchscreen like iPhone that lets me do things easily when its just a touch that is all needed,but when I want to type out something, an arc slider slides out that offers me a full QWERTY keyboard! Phew ! Thats cool ! There are other phones available that have similar design like ATT Tilt but the reviews tell me that the QVGA display it sports isn't a great choice for internet applications. And somehow Xperia excites me more :) Read the specs on the site I mentioned above and see a few videos on you tube. It will excite you too ! And as with all phone launches, XPERIA also has a bunch of other exciting features. But visual voicemail is definitely not one of the, something that I loved on iPhone.

Xperia has it downsides too ! The most discussed one is that its going to run on Windows Mobile 6.1 . Ah, windows here too ? Well, when the phone comes out, we will have to check that out for ourselves. It seems unlikely that its going to have a huge inbuilt memory, but then it will support microSD and I can live with that. But at this time I am eagerly waiting for Xperia X1. I hope it delivers what it promises to.

BTW, the P1i from Sony isn't too bad either. I am still to get my hands on it but I think its a nice option for people who don't want to wait till XPERIA comes out, or think XPERIA may be too expensive for them(the rumored price for unlocked version of XPERIA is said to be around a 1000 $s !!!)

So till then, I will stick to my Treo 650, which is an excellent phone but lacks wi-fi. We never feel satisfied, do we ? :)

Let's give it another try...

I wrote my first blog a long time back...almost an year and a half back. While I thought on many occasions of starting the practice again, the lazy guy in me always preferred taking a nap than to write a note :)

But now that I stay alone, I am tempted again to write something for 2 reasons: it helps me kill time, and , if someone is interested in reading what I write, it helps kill their's too. Ok, that was the lighter side of it. But honestly, I think one advantage of blogging is that you know that someone else may read what you are writing. So you tend to be more responsible, and at the same time, you think multiple times before you actually publish something(atleast I do). That helps me set my thoughts about a thing straight !

So wish me luck. Hopefully this innings will be a longer one.